I guess the last story wasn't as big of a hit as I thought it was going to be - but if y'all liked that one, I'm hoping you will LOVE this one:
I got another package the other day! It was an Apple iTouch!!! I was shocked because it's something I would have never purchased for myself - ever. So anyway - I was all excited to use it and the CC called me in his office and said there was a very important mission I would have to do right away and it couldn't wait. Grab my gear and meet the Army guys at Checkpoint Alpha. OK- so I grabbed my new iTouch and thought maybe I'd get a chance to use it.
As luck would have it and is the military way, we got our orders and it was pretty much hurry up and wait - it would be a couple hours before our Helo (helicopter - can't tell you what kind) was ready. Lucky for me, one of the Army guys had a computer and offered to set up my iTouch! I thought that would be a good idea since I had NO IDEA what to even do with the thing! He said, "Don't worry, Chief, I'll set it up with all the same stuff I got on mine - all kinds of music, music videos, games, email apps... I got it ALL!"
So - being the naive guy I am - I said, "Sure - go ahead!" So - we were in holding for about 2.5 hours and they called and said 15 min to show time - they guy said - Perfect, 10 left to go! So they called us to load and the Army guy gave me back my iTouch and told me not only was it loaded, it was fully charged! I thought - WOW! Perfect...
So - we all got on and up and away we went. Can't tell ya where were goin either. They stuck me in the back of the Helo where it was dark and I told them that was unacceptable cause I wanted to SEE! They gave me the chair right by the out door and I had a beautiful view of the mountains! It really is spectacular to see! The iTouch was real easy to use and I thought I'd listen to some music of our 30 min ride. I found some heavy metal music and started rockin OUT Baby!!! I had my head down rockin and bobbin when all of a sudden this Army guy (a big guy too) comes across the floor and tackles me off of my seat into the back of the helo! Well - I was a little pissed cause I noticed a small scratch on my new iTouch (very small) and I thought to my self, I'm gonna get up and teach these Army guys a little manners on how to treat an AF Chief! I started to get up and I saw stars -so I quickly sat back down for a second.. Then, all of a sudden, three other guys grabbed some heavy weapons and started shooting and we made a hard bank left! That's when the Army guy on the other side with the 50 cal opened fire! All this happened in just a few seconds and I was perfectly fine now. So I stood up and gave the Army guys my war face and one of them looked pretty scared for a second and pointed to the top of his head. We cleared the area and were flying smooth at this time - but I was still a little angry with these guys. I put my hand on my helmet and there was a piece missing! Apparently I either took a bullet or piece of something to the top of my K Pot (Kevlar Helmet) and that's why the Army guy got me out of the line of fire! I thought it was just because he didn't like ROCK music!!! Or it was too loud for him or something....
Anyway - we had a good laugh over it afterward and the guys were really pretty kool after I took off my headphones and got to know them a little bit...
So now I know why I never bought on of these dang iTouch things! They'll get you KILLED!!!
As the last story was all true, this one is all a fabricated - every last bit except the fact that my brother and mother DID send me an Apple 8GB 2nd Generation iTouch! Wow!!! Thanks for that.
I'm telling this story to make a point. You guys should start a contest and see who can send me the thing that generates the craziest story!!! It's a WIN/WIN! (I can't loose) - You guys send me all kinds of new toys, and I get to write more stories for you to read and enjoy!!!! :-)
(I'm just kidding).
But Al/Mom, thanks for the gift! It certainly wasn't necessary, but I think I'll like it... particularly when I visit the latrines!
BTW - I'm fine - had a good day!
Mark.
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Hi Mark,
ReplyDeleteNice story.. reads like a stephen coonts thriller! :-)
brgds / Doug
OMG!!! You are crazy! But I had a good laugh, (after I freaked out for a min). I'll be thinking of something to send for a good story.
ReplyDeletelook for a long skinny package for your next story, you guessed right, its a fishing pole with aftermarket RPG mounts, just kidding, good job on the coin, give Kim and I a heads up on what to put in a box for you and your troops, you may have a third career in the making as a writer, you never know.
ReplyDeleteDavid and Kim
You had me going for a minute and I read it to David and his eyes got big till I got to the part about it being B.S. Geez I enjoyed the adrenalin rush!!! :) Wendy
ReplyDeleteHave you lost your mind!!!!! Just for that the next box you get from me will be FISH HOOKS..Very large fish hooks !!
ReplyDeleteI may forgive you for that "story" after my heart rate gets back to normal.....janice
Should have heard the Oh-my-gods when I read YOUR STORY out LOUD to the group. I knew you were kidding when you didn't kick the Army dude's behind. RUSTY FISH HOOKS would be nice.
ReplyDeleteWow! Great story I was freakn out a bit myself (Jeff writing here) Asking questions while I was reading, like "why the heck would he be jamming out to music at the door of helo in a freakn war zone?" Anyway, so I guess all the good music and apps were part of the story too?
ReplyDeleteYou tell a good story Uncle Mark. But I knew you weren't dumb enough to do that stuff. God bless.
ReplyDelete